In a previous blog, I mentioned the devastating news that my sister-in-law was diagnosed with cancer. It was a tough battle, but she fought hard and remained determined throughout her treatment.
In October it became apparent that cancer had spread rapidly and could not be stopped.
On December 17th, just four months after getting married, my sister-in-law lost her courageous fight against cancer. It was a heartbreaking loss for our family, and we were all devastated by the news.
We decided to change our Christmas plans and travel to Wisconsin instead of California, to help with any financial details that needed to be settled. We arrived about 10 days before the memorial service.

Lovie, the pillar of strength and resilience, stepped in to provide support for her husband during this difficult time. Navigating through the complexities of paperwork, he took on the laborious task of closing various accounts and returning the leased car. The process was emotionally draining, a stark reminder of the reality they were grappling with, yet Lovie handled it with grace and tenacity. Each completed task, in a way, was a small step towards healing, a step towards accepting a new normal without her presence. It was helpful to her devastated husband.

My mother-in-law, her other sister-in-law Sharon, and I (the other sister-in-law Sharon) spent considerable time putting together four photo boards, a task that was as emotionally taxing as it was therapeutic. Every picture held a memory, a moment frozen in time, a slice of a life lived with vigor and love. I spent the week meticulously crafting a slideshow that encapsulated her journey. It was a labor of love, one that I poured my heart into, and I was happy with the finished product.
The memorial service was a beautiful tribute to her life. The very same minister who had officiated their wedding just four months prior led the service – a poignant reminder of the cruel brevity of time. Despite the sorrow that enveloped us, we found comfort in shared reminiscences and the love we have for her. It was a testament to her spirit, a celebration of a life well-lived, albeit cut short.
The attendance at the memorial service was a testament to the many lives she had touched with her feisty spirit and zest for life. A crowd of at least 150 people gathered to celebrate her life, including her entire family. Her ex-husband, ever the gentleman, was also present, offering support in sorting out paperwork and tax information. He even provided us with a copy of her old laptop info, which was invaluable in finding many of the photos used in the memorial.
Our nephew graduated on the day that she passed away. They played the graduation livestream. He managed to get to the hospice before she passed away. We chose to believe, in our hearts, that she, in some way, was aware of his accomplishment. We know, without a doubt, how immensely proud she would have been of him. Her passing on his graduation day interweaved a moment of celebration with a profound loss, creating a tapestry of mixed emotions that we will carry with us forever.

The stark reality of her absence is still surreal, an inconceivable truth that our minds struggle to accept. At just 52, her life ended far too soon. Her home, where we spent countless hours preparing for the memorial, echoed with her absence – it was as if she had merely stepped out, and would return any moment. The heartbreak is palpable in her husband, a man who waited a lifetime to find his soulmate, only to lose her shortly after their four-month-long marital bliss. It evokes a deep-seated rage within me – to see a woman of such unfettered spirit, a successful entrepreneur who built her own house painting company, snuffed out by such a ruthless disease. Her indomitable spirit and fierce determination are irreplaceable, leaving a void that her death has cruelly carved.
2023 was a grueling year for my mother-in-law. She not only lost her sister but also her daughter, all while managing the affairs of her 82-year-old brother in assisted living. At 81, she’s still taking care of his laundry and finances, a testament to her resilience and strength. Our hope for the new year is to bring her a measure of comfort, perhaps through a change of scenery. However, with the frigid weather in Wisconsin and record snowfall in Idaho, we must wait for better conditions before we can invite her to come and visit.

Christmas was different this year, spent away from our family in California. We spend the day with my husbands’s cousins. They provided us a lavish feast, but we were surrounded by love and memories, something that is priceless. The cousins’ mother is the aunt who had passed away so it was a bittersweet get-together. It was a simple Christmas, one spent reflecting on the fragility of life and cherishing the moments we have with our loved ones. We’re hoping to make it up by visiting them in the coming months. We sent our son to California to spend time with my side of the family. He later joined us in Wisconsin for the funeral. It was heartwarming to see Grandma enjoying his company, boasting about him to distant relatives at the memorial.

As we begin the new year, we carry with us the memories of those who are no longer with us –
Saying goodbye was emotionally taxing, and we returned home mentally drained. The seclusion imposed by being snowed in has allowed us the space to introspect and process our loss. I am immensely proud of my husband who stepped up during these trying times, taking care of all the financial aspects with utmost care. His sister would have been incredibly proud of him. Sara, you are dearly missed. Rest in peace.