Yesterday was the day to have a small get together with the family before the boy heads off to school. We moved it to where the people are because my niece had dance practice and this way we would still see her and my sister. Also, it was easier for the old folks to spend more time with us before heading home. It was a lovely time. We just gathered up the goods and headed to Campbell. I am normally much fussier about the food etc but yesterday I kept it completely simple. Pizza, chip, cheese n crackers, and cake. Lately, I just cannot figure out…or should I say want not want to deal with food prep. I guess it must be the food avoidance that makes it harder for me to plan a menu etc. If it was up to me all food would be a smoothie. His cousin was home from her college…but then she loves coming home almost every weekend because she is an hour away. He got to spend time with his cousins and then he went off to say goodbye to his ex-girlfriend. They broke up because of geographical constraints this coming year. She is such a lovely girl and I know they were happy to see each other one last time before he leaves. Here are some pictures from the party.
It feels like he is gone already because he spends more time out of the house than ever. Between work and friends, we are already missing him dearly. Today he has been in the city(San Francisco) with his best friend.
I am starting to watch the weather closely and Manhattan heated up to a balmy 30deg F today. Lord help me. I am not used to that at all.
I had a meeting with the nutritionist on Friday. My issues go in cycles and I am stress eating at the moment with binges. I was not in the mood to go and deal with it on Friday and I came very close to canceling because sometimes the old Sharon comes out and she has food as her boss. I am glad that I went. I hate preparing food, to begin with, but I HATE making food for myself so I will sometimes not bother at all. So I am going to try and concentrate on having at least one smoothie or superfood drink daily to get the vitamins etc that I need. I looked at the picture of me above with the guys and I look like a pale washed out dishrag. Bring on the iron infusions. I am still waiting for that appointment so I am sure I will only get there when we get back from our trip.
I am feeling weirdly numb about the upcoming trip. I know that I am as I like to say….Inside my own head. This is when I really need to watch the food intake. It is easy to just push feeling sad away with your hand reaching for some food. Tomorrow is my weekly visit with Not Jean and this will be my last visit before I leave. Next week I am on my own with the worries inside my head….should be like a crazy carnival ride. Maybe the balmy weather will freeze them….LOL
Tomorrow my classes start at school. I am doing the math online…did I already mention that….and I have now done all the homework and quizzes that precede the first test which is due on Feb18th. I love jumping ahead.
The rest of the week we will be starting to take stock of what he has and what he still needs to buy when we get into NYC.
Oh well…Happy Sunday and I hope that you have a great week.
Firstly, this picture has nothing to do with this blog but it just a picture that I took outside my front door months ago. The little boy who used to be our neighbor hung it on a tree outside my door. I loved the way it looked…obviously made from driftwood.
I am dragging so much today. I am still not sleeping so I am wrecked. I am like a walking zombie. As each day passes shit is getting real. The change is coming fast and furious and I know it is just a circle of life and it has to be but Geez that is easier said than done when it comes to acceptance. Had a pretty productive time with Not Jean today. Not sure why it helps to hash it out but it does. I did not get much done apart from that. I sat on the couch most of the day. I really have to make a commitment to keeping myself busy with activities that I enjoy. I am making a commitment to myself to go to yoga tomorrow morning. I have to get out. I have no ambition to do anything at the moment and the erratic eating is not doing me any good when it is mixed with my insomnia and iron deficiency. For that reason, this is the most boring blog ever. I did have a delicious Gingersnap coffee from Philz coffee…at least that was a treat. I did get the syllabus for my math class for this semester. YIKES. Can this old brain even add 1+1 successfully nowadays? Only time will tell
Oh well sorry to bore you silly. Maybe I will be more alive tomorrrow.
I finally put together a design for the first time in about 4-6 weeks. I loved these face elements that I had so decided to create this pattern. I am in love with these pseudo faces. I am glad that I at least got this done today otherwise I would be really useless. I did not make it to Michaels. I want to take the painting to be measured for a matte and it is cold and raining so I do not want it damaged. I actually got to sit at my desk today. It is funny that the house is always neat and tidy but my desk like my head is a jumbled mess. The kiddo went to work at 6am this morning. He has only four days of work left. He was home for a little bit of time and then he was gone again with his friend from high school. Lovie and I decided to go out to dinner. Most Saturdays I am a…”Nah! not this week person but tonight I thought we might as well get out of the house. So we decided to wing it and go to this Thai place that we like in a nearby town. We figured that if it was busy we could go to the Japanese place in the same complex. We got this at the perfect time and were seated right away.
I ordered the chicken satay appetizer as my meal. It was really lovely. I had lychee tea. I have not had it in ages. I can no longer tolerate things being that sweet. I kept cutting it with water to make it more palatable. I am so ticked at myself. I pulled on a nice new sweater to go out to dinner and I, of course, spilled peanut sauce on myself. I hope to goodness it is not ruined. I have this thing about clothes and stains. If it has even one speck that will not come out I will never wear it again. If I can see it on the front of my shirt I cannot deal with it. It is in the wash right now. I hope that it is ok because I wanted to wear it on the plane to New York because it is really cozy and has a shearling lined hoodie. Dinner was nice but the food is really bothering me at the moment. I have been missing my 1000-1200 calorie goal and the moment I do that I gain weight. The nutritionist always says that it is because my body goes out of starvation mode and panics because it anticipates the next time it will be starved. She also says that if I just concentrated on nutrition it will adjust itself. I know that my nutrition is atrocious at the moment and it did show up in my last bloodwork. I am so washed out again and the sleep issues are not helping. I feel like a fat blob. Terrified of the 10-12lb weight gain of last year. I feel like a nap about 2 hours after I wake up Crazy huh! Now we are home and I am watching mindless youtube while typing this blog. Mindless youtube is sometimes a good thing. I am really an odd cookie. I love watching Aussie crime shows, British vloggers, Woodturning(yes I said woodturning), music from Evan Hanson and fat people. You cannot get more varied than that. LOL.