Circle of life…11 days and counting

Random nature shot taken today

The photo above was taken when I noticed this random tree trunk base as I was walking down the street today so I thought I would share. Today I decided to once again try a mindfulness women’s circle at the local Buddist prayer center. It was, to say the least….mmmm interesting. I am really not sure if this is for me. It involved meditation and then a circle introduction and activity about the circle of life and using medicine wheel. Here is a link to the information on a Medicine wheel. Very interesting.


We got to choose a card that spoke to us….mmm I wonder why this grabbed my eye So at any rate we were given a wheel to write on as we saw fit. I wrote my thoughts in the middle and then I struck on coming home that I should write the poem I wrote about Motherhood on the circle. So this afternoon I set aside time to go ahead and transfer the poem and then I decorated the outer limits into a mandala pattern as my own mindfulness exercise. Here is the end result.

day11aI am trying to make an effort to get out of the house but I am a little unsure about this group being the right thing for me. I think I prefer the Restorative yoga.

My college classes are supposed to start on Monday but the Math teacher made the material available to us already. This class is really stressing me out and so I decided to get started this afternoon. I got into the groove and finished all of the homework exercises that are due up until Feb 8th. So far so good but we will see how long that lasts.

The boy was at work most of the day. It was supposed to be his last day but he is squeezing in one last shift on Monday. He then went out for dinner with one of his high school friends. Forget spending time with your parents the week before you leave. There is no time for that.

Well, here we go. Time is moving fast and furious. Tomorrow I have an appointment with the nutritionist and then I need to go and pick up a cake for the farewell party on Saturday. I heard that Sprinkles now makes full-size cakes so I hope that they are pretty good.

May you have a peaceful Friday.


To market to market to buy…..

You know the rest of the ditty if you are not a millennial.

On Friday I hauled my butt down to the South Bay to take the old guy, papa out to lunch because the old girl is still in Texas visiting her sister. My baby sister and her girls joined us for lunch at a really yummy Indian buffet. I then went for a pedicure with one of my favorite girls….my oldest niece J. I then hung out with my sister and the girls until it was time to head back in our direction. I went straight to restorative yoga. The place is becoming less intimidating. I do not feel like running screaming from the building…LOL. I actually feel pretty safe.

Saturday was a fairly lazy day except we had to take the rental car back. Six weeks and the Lexus is still not fixed. Insanity. This is getting to be ridiculous. I also took the van for a wash. Lovie has been driving it and it was filthy. It looked like we had been in the snow in Tahoe. Saturday night is our regular restaurant or takes out night. The guys wanted Burritos from this very authentic Mexican place. I just had some of a smoothie I had made and my usual staple of crackers and liverwurst.

So after those boring details let me move onto Sunday. I packed up the van on Saturday night and headed to the farmers market with great trepidation on Sunday morning.. I packed out the table as I had practiced and the woman who handles the nonfood vendors was kind enough to bring me this beautiful vintage leather body form to display the scarves. So I set up and made myself comfy. Anticipating another pointless day. It was very anxiety-ridden but I decided to start working on the book I so badly want to write…..What I wish my mama,(sister, aunty, bestie) told me? …..more on that later.

So these two little girls and their mothers came to look at the table. They were about 8 and fell in love with two of the new purses that were displayed on the table. Low and behold I sold two purses to two 8-year-olds. It was so adorable. I heard one say it was the prettiest purse she had ever seen. It warmed my heart to have something think that. Later in the morning, I sold a scarf….again off of the table. The lady that had lent me the mannequin had suggested that I twirl the scarfs into flowers and sure enough that worked. Unreal. That was it for the day except for the odd shenanigans you get to observe. I had some doozies yesterday. I had an old man think that the African woman silhouette on my African scarf was a gnat. Still cannot figure that one out. I had another middle-aged lady come up to me randomly to tell me that she had just bought ” one of the new houses” around the corner…well thanks for sharing lady. I had a May/ December couple(She was the December) have a very childish altercation in front of my stall. He deliberately knocked her cookie out of her hand so she kneed him in the nuts. It looked ridiculous for a woman who was probably at least my age but very shriveled to be acting in such a manner. Then I almost saw a child killed by another idiot bay area driver. People here do not have a clue how a four-way stop works. This tow truck with the right of way started pulling through a stop and slammed on brakes because the car to his right decided to just cut him off and pull in front of him to take a left into the road that the truck was leaving. At the same time, a little girl had decided to cross the road and she emerged running behind the truck and in front of the idiot who fucked up the flow. Her parents screamed and the car slammed on brakes. It was almost a very nasty accident. The bay area people have no respect for the laws. The problem has got really bad lately. The young arrogant engineer douchebags are the worst in their BMWs or Lexus. Have I told you lately that I hate this place? The driving has got so bad that I was wondering out loud the other day whether people were possibly driving buzzed on pot.  I made it through the end of the day. I am so glad it was over. I could not wait to pack up and leave. I am going to go the other two times that I have booked and then I will reassess the situation. Next week I will be at the De Anza flea market to give it a try.

Well, today I am stuck at home with no car. I think I will just chill out. I will start typing my book intro into the laptop. My darn notebook got soaked by my water bottle. The boy has two job interviews today. Cross your thumbs, fingers toes etc. The lazy little bugger needs to get moving on some employment. It is a long time until he heads off to NYU in late January.  Happy Monday and may you have a peaceful and good week. 028-Meditation Poses V-04


Overthinking it

The farmer’s market sidewalk stall in progress.

I am busy trying to rework my scarf display for the farmers market on Saturday. It is a work in progress. Set up in my dining room working it again and again until it looks like I want it to look. I want it to be eye catching so that they see the colors and designs. I find that they do not understand it until they see that the designs are unique. My anxiety is not ideal for this exercise. I will just keep reworking it until it looks good. I am hoping that the new scarves will be here this week. I will post the work in progress as it goes along and some photos of the new scarves when they arrive. I am in the mood to sew for some reason. Not sure why but what the heck..I might just do that tomorrow.

Nana being schooled by Tannie in Texas.

I had a nice chat to my mom this afternoon on face time in Texas. I got to say hi to my cousins and favorite aunt as well. Tomorrow it is once again time for not Jean. I have a lot to talk about. Also tomorrow night is Yin Gentle Yoga. I am looking forward to it.

I have been making smoothies in the morning as per the nutritionist suggestion to get my nutrients boosted for the day. . I have been using the pea greens and they make the drink taste good. Tomorrow I am going to add some shredded carrots. I have lost almost 2 lb thank goodness. I need that  I was not that disciplined today but you know…

I am just being creative with whatever I have on a particular day. I bought some coconut water and beet juice today to use as the liquid base. I am working really hard at trying to put the food issues behind me….time will tell…until I get angry and starve again.

Smoothie of the day.

Ready, Set and Go

IMG_7416.jpgThe restorative yoga class was wonderful last night. I am going to be signing up at the end of this trial month. I plan to try and go at least twice a week. I will start off slow and see how it goes. My hip bone spur and ligament tears are making me limp again. So annoying. Maybe this will strengthen my joints.  It is really good for my soul.

I woke up late this morning. I took some sleeping aids to help me really sleep last night. I got up and started building the Ikea furniture that I need for the farmers market stall tomorrow. I am happy with what I purchased. It worked out well. I can get it out of the car myself and they are both wheeled items. The chair will have to be carried but it is not to bad I might even be able to put the chair on the clothing rack. The banner I ordered worked perfectly on the rolling shelf I bought to hold the business cards and cash box. I am set up to take credit cards on my phone and everything is set. I just need to remember to take my water and a few snacks.

I have tried to keep ahead of the anxiety today. I am still struggling but working keeps your brain busy. Yesterday my nutritionist was trying to convince me that I would really get my body kickstarted if I blended greens and fruit into smoothies and start off my day with it. So I decided to give it a try. I bought mixed pea greens and added it to some juice, strawberries puree that I froze and peaches and a banana. It was surprisingly so delicious that I want to seriously give it a try daily to get the nutrients that I am sorely lacking from my horrendous eating habits.

So I have absolutely no idea just what tomorrow will bring. I am extremely nervous. It is a beautiful hot day. All the doors and windows are open. The kiddo has gone to a friend’s birthday party and lovie and I have been chillings. I am 51 and I had a full beer…well an alcoholic root beer for the first time in my life. Not sure how you get to 51 without ever completing a beer but I have. It was really enjoyable in this hot weather. We did not even want to go to dinner we just found some salads and chicken in the fridge and ate at home. No fuss no muss.

I want to go to bed early tonight because of tomorrow’s market. I am so worried about having to pee. I have to be there from 9-2pm…yikes. I am alone for the whole time.

I interrupted this blog this evening to go for a lovely stroll around the lagoon with Lovie. As usual, it had cooled off a lot and it was on the chilly side but I managed to nab this very cool photo as the sun was setting. IMG_7426Catch you all later. I will most likely blog about my adventures at the farmer’s market tomorrow. I wish I was more confident.


Friday at last

IMG_7407So we all made it to Friday. I am still in a state of serious anxiety and panic. The visit to my nutritionist went well. She is the kindest, sweetest most wonderful woman I have met. She is always so helpful. I am getting it slowly but surely…I hope. I think. The relationship with food is improving a little bit at a time. My actual nutrition and getting good fuel into my body is most definitely a work in progress. I am not sure how a 50-year old woman gets to 50 without that skill….but it is what it is. Apart from that, I went to Office Depot to pick up a few bits and bobs. I am set up to take credit cards on my phone so I wanted to make sure I had a battery power bank and I found a great deal and for a Vivitar for $3 on sale. I came home and boy was missing. I thought he had just missed me and was on his way to meet her. She confuses me sometimes. I think she is lovely and perfect for him but she keeps him on a string and will cancel plans or spend a day with girlfriends instead of him. She will get back from a trip and not see him for two more days. I cannot understand it. He is so gentle and loving that he just takes it. I would say she is not that into it but honestly, I have seen the way she looks at her and him at her. She looks at him so adoringly. Teenagers…yikes. I just cannot stand seeing him hurting. He has always been a tender old soul. He also has not yet found a job. He really needs to get moving.

I am busy making lasagna and then I am heading out to go and attend a restorative yoga class again. It is honestly one of the most relaxing things I have ever done. It is such a pity that the drive and parking experience is the usual Bay Area Nightmare. I have to leave an hour early to find parking at a class 2 miles away. It is like when I go to visit no Jean on a Wednesday. My appointment is at 2:30pm and it is 60 min. I have to leave home at 1:40 to make sure I get there on time and if I go to the grocery store I get home after 5pm. Her office is about 4-5 miles away. Crazy. A one-hour appointment basically kills the whole afternoon. I took a nap this afternoon for the first time in a few weeks. I did dose myself with Ativan and some baileys last night so maybe I was not finished sleeping.

Screen Shot 2018-06-19 at 5.16.54 PMNow for a little giggle at the ditz. I have bought a clothing rack and another 3 tier organizer on wheels for the farmers market on Sunday. Like all good Ikea things, you have to build them yourself. Now I am a little odd on most levels and one of them is that I love building Ikea furniture. So I set out about putting the clothing rack on wheels together. Darn it. I am almost finished and I wanted to attach the top rail that the clothes hang on and I dropped the bolt into the tube and now it is stuck and I cannot get it out. I was so close to getting done. I think it is going to be perfect for my needs. I am dying to try it out so boohoo. Welcome to my life. I am hoping the guys can pull the end cap so we can get it out….otherwise, I am not sure what to do.

Ok, I am off to try and calm my troubled soul. Have a wonderful and peaceful weekend. I will let you know how the farmer’s market went.

Happy Weekend.

Getting my bleep together

IMG_1334It seems like forever since I caught up with you on this blog. Time seems to run away from me. I have been a little more occupied than usual. I have been creating a number of new designs. I have put in applications to sell at the local farmers market from next week and also at a large flea market in the area in July. I tried a sidewalk sale last Saturday and I sold a purse within the first 15 minutes but the weather was foul. Whoever thinks we have great weather in California in summer is very confused. It was freezing and the wind was howling. Nana came to hang with me and then my baby sis and her kiddo came to say Hi. I packed it up after an hour. It was bitterly cold and the wind was too wild.

IMG_7354It was also my lovie’s birthday on that day and he took him to dinner at this super Indian place that had wonderful new style and refined Indian food. It was truly delicious.

I have also started yoga and I have been twice so far. The first class was Yin Gentle and the second one was Restorative Yoga. I really liked both classes and I have another Yin Gentle class on Wednesday. It is a very nice place and I love that I have come so far that I am not that self-conscious and I have the confidence to actually wear yoga pants and a tank top. Who cares? Well, I don’t on a good day…LOL. Those are few and in between moments but … know.  I have been walking for exercise a little as well.

Today I made a trip to Ikea for the first time in years. The amount of angst I had just trying to get out of the house this morning was ridiculous. The overthinking a simple trip to Ikea is just insane. The level of anxiety was insane but I did it. I wanted a clothing rack on wheels and a chair that would be easy to get in and out of…I took our foldable loungers on Saturday but they are to low and it feels like I am on the beach. I have some new designs and I am hoping that the Farmers Market is a good choice. I really need to start going to stores. Again…a courage issue.

Here are some of my latest samplings. Enjoy. They are all available at and and a few more on




Bang Bang

Beautifully sad 

I must be honest I have been a little lax with the blogs but for no real reason. Just caught up in doing nothing..LOL. Now things are settling down. I got my grade back from my Honors English class and it was an A. Now I can go ahead and enjoy summer and concentrate on the design business. I am trying to figure out all of the avenues. I am going to give it a try at the DeAnza Flea Market next month. It might be a little low brow for my items but I will not know unless I try. I also contacted the local San Carlos farmers market as they do allow nonfood vendors. I am keen to give it a try. Things are moving for sure.

Yesterday I finally tried Yoga. It was gentle Yin Yoga. I am still hoping for a Restorative yoga class showing up on the schedule at the local yoga place I have enrolled in. It was a little difficult as my bursitis makes my hip stiff but I must say that I enjoyed it. I have put on 10 pounds and I cannot get rid of it. I am so frustrated. I put on this weight after my iron infusion at the end of last year and I can scream because it will not budge. I do not exercise like I used to because of my hip but I am ready to ice it, novacaine it…do whatever it takes to at least get a mile every day. I hope to get the yoga in at least twice a week. I have to get rid of the 10 pounds. It is disgusting.  The nutritionist always tells me I eat too little so my body freaks out and holds onto every pound. Well doing it the other way makes me put on weight. I am not ashamed to say that I am obsessed with checking the scale. I do not have any faith in my ability not to keep gaining. I just would be happy for now to be down 10 pounds. If I eat 1200-1500 calories I put on weight. If I eat a thousand I stay the same. I want to scream somedays. MOVE ALREADY….(the scale)preview-pillow22-1574761-front-fThis is one of my latest designs. I am trying to keep coming up with new ideas. The purse design is below. It is a design featuring 5 purses. Here is the link

Tomorrow I am not staying home. They are doing repairs on the outside of the house and it is a nightmare. The banging and clanging are jangling my nerves. I am not sure where I am going but I am not staying here. I need to go and buy a clothing rack at Ikea if I am going to do the farmers market. It would be great to hang my scarves on for the farmers market. Or I could go to Half Moon Bay and look for boutiques that might carry my items…or I could just head south and visit Nana and Papa…mmmm decisions, decisions. Max just told me that he was possibly going to visit the head of his elementary/middle school. The guy was also their math teacher. He was going to go with two friends that he has had since Kindergarten. They all went to different prep schools but they are all still friends. That is the advantage of small schools the teachers all remember you.

He had to do traffic school online today for his speeding ticket. He also applied for a job and he has more than one that he needs to follow up on. He is a little bit of a lazy little bugger. You have to keep at him. He has no chance of just sitting around for 6 months until he starts college next year…NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. He owes us $400 for his speeding ticket.

I will try and not be so lethargic about my blogging. Watch this space. Happy Monday. Have a great week.

Heater in June

IMG_7147Yup. California in June and we could easily put the heater on today. Saturday and Sunday were perfect days but it has been downhill since then. That old Mark Twain saying, “The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco” is truly an apt description for the weather this week.

Screen Shot 2018-06-01 at 2.48.56 PM

So after all the excitement of the past few weeks, life resumes as normal. You stop you celebrate and then bam back to the same old same old. The mother in law got back on a plane. The visit was pleasant as usual right up until she decided to voice a ridiculous political statement that infuriated us. I am still not impressed with her. She had to go there and wreck a lovely weekend. I will admit that lovie poked the monkey but really she stepped in it. Oh well. I am not a very confrontational person but I actually yelled at her. LOL…surprised myself.

So the agenda for our life has really changed and the new dynamic feels so odd. No more having to get up early. Nowhere that we have to go or have to do. I have all the free time I need to work on designs and keep up getting the business to a viable venture. I have to laugh because at the moment the money is trickling in in dribs and drabs. I am going on a spending spree with the 5c I have made on the ads on this blog. Then I make $2 here and then $10 there. I have now sold about 26 scarves. I know it is odd that I am keeping tabs but it is still exciting to know that they are selling. I want this so badly. I know that I have something unique.purplemandala copy copy