Yesterday was the day to have a small get together with the family before the boy heads off to school. We moved it to where the people are because my niece had dance practice and this way we would still see her and my sister. Also, it was easier for the old folks to spend more time with us before heading home. It was a lovely time. We just gathered up the goods and headed to Campbell. I am normally much fussier about the food etc but yesterday I kept it completely simple. Pizza, chip, cheese n crackers, and cake. Lately, I just cannot figure out…or should I say want not want to deal with food prep. I guess it must be the food avoidance that makes it harder for me to plan a menu etc. If it was up to me all food would be a smoothie. His cousin was home from her college…but then she loves coming home almost every weekend because she is an hour away. He got to spend time with his cousins and then he went off to say goodbye to his ex-girlfriend. They broke up because of geographical constraints this coming year. She is such a lovely girl and I know they were happy to see each other one last time before he leaves. Here are some pictures from the party.
It feels like he is gone already because he spends more time out of the house than ever. Between work and friends, we are already missing him dearly. Today he has been in the city(San Francisco) with his best friend.
I am starting to watch the weather closely and Manhattan heated up to a balmy 30deg F today. Lord help me. I am not used to that at all.
I had a meeting with the nutritionist on Friday. My issues go in cycles and I am stress eating at the moment with binges. I was not in the mood to go and deal with it on Friday and I came very close to canceling because sometimes the old Sharon comes out and she has food as her boss. I am glad that I went. I hate preparing food, to begin with, but I HATE making food for myself so I will sometimes not bother at all. So I am going to try and concentrate on having at least one smoothie or superfood drink daily to get the vitamins etc that I need. I looked at the picture of me above with the guys and I look like a pale washed out dishrag. Bring on the iron infusions. I am still waiting for that appointment so I am sure I will only get there when we get back from our trip.
I am feeling weirdly numb about the upcoming trip. I know that I am as I like to say….Inside my own head. This is when I really need to watch the food intake. It is easy to just push feeling sad away with your hand reaching for some food. Tomorrow is my weekly visit with Not Jean and this will be my last visit before I leave. Next week I am on my own with the worries inside my head….should be like a crazy carnival ride. Maybe the balmy weather will freeze them….LOL
Tomorrow my classes start at school. I am doing the math online…did I already mention that….and I have now done all the homework and quizzes that precede the first test which is due on Feb18th. I love jumping ahead.
The rest of the week we will be starting to take stock of what he has and what he still needs to buy when we get into NYC.
Oh well…Happy Sunday and I hope that you have a great week.
I finally put together a design for the first time in about 4-6 weeks. I loved these face elements that I had so decided to create this pattern. I am in love with these pseudo faces. I am glad that I at least got this done today otherwise I would be really useless. I did not make it to Michaels. I want to take the painting to be measured for a matte and it is cold and raining so I do not want it damaged. I actually got to sit at my desk today. It is funny that the house is always neat and tidy but my desk like my head is a jumbled mess. The kiddo went to work at 6am this morning. He has only four days of work left. He was home for a little bit of time and then he was gone again with his friend from high school. Lovie and I decided to go out to dinner. Most Saturdays I am a…”Nah! not this week person but tonight I thought we might as well get out of the house. So we decided to wing it and go to this Thai place that we like in a nearby town. We figured that if it was busy we could go to the Japanese place in the same complex. We got this at the perfect time and were seated right away.
I ordered the chicken satay appetizer as my meal. It was really lovely. I had lychee tea. I have not had it in ages. I can no longer tolerate things being that sweet. I kept cutting it with water to make it more palatable. I am so ticked at myself. I pulled on a nice new sweater to go out to dinner and I, of course, spilled peanut sauce on myself. I hope to goodness it is not ruined. I have this thing about clothes and stains. If it has even one speck that will not come out I will never wear it again. If I can see it on the front of my shirt I cannot deal with it. It is in the wash right now. I hope that it is ok because I wanted to wear it on the plane to New York because it is really cozy and has a shearling lined hoodie. Dinner was nice but the food is really bothering me at the moment. I have been missing my 1000-1200 calorie goal and the moment I do that I gain weight. The nutritionist always says that it is because my body goes out of starvation mode and panics because it anticipates the next time it will be starved. She also says that if I just concentrated on nutrition it will adjust itself. I know that my nutrition is atrocious at the moment and it did show up in my last bloodwork. I am so washed out again and the sleep issues are not helping. I feel like a fat blob. Terrified of the 10-12lb weight gain of last year. I feel like a nap about 2 hours after I wake up Crazy huh! Now we are home and I am watching mindless youtube while typing this blog. Mindless youtube is sometimes a good thing. I am really an odd cookie. I love watching Aussie crime shows, British vloggers, Woodturning(yes I said woodturning), music from Evan Hanson and fat people. You cannot get more varied than that. LOL.
Seventeen days and counting…YIKES! They finally sent us an email to tell us that they are giving dorm and roommate information…at last. I meant to go to Restorative Yoga this morning but I had a really hard time waking up this morning…so I never made it. I guess the sleep “help” was dialed up too high.
I spent the whole day and I mean the whole day working on organizing my work desk in the family room. The desk was messy but not as it appears in some of the pictures below. I kind of pulled it apart to put it together. I have recently bought a painting and a giclee print from a local artist and I wanted to hang her work above my desk with a few other pieces of art that I have bought or made. I hung the print but I need to take it in and have a matte made and I need to adjust the frame size. So here is my work in progress.
And here it was towards the end of the day. I tried to cull my little message board but I love to keep the little things that mean something to me on the board so it is full again.
Those three little African babies were a gift from my dad. He just bought them on his last trip. This is what it looked like towards the end of the day.
It will take me a few days to finish it off by getting the paintings etc framed and mounted on the wall. (The doll is a Frida Kahlo doll that is a work in progress Her face and hair are not complete yet.)
With regards to the countdown. I am really taking strain. Fighting every day trying not to use food as a crutch…..struggling bigtime. It is weird because I am ok with it and then it will randomly hit home that the chick is flying the coop and I start freaking out inside. I have to remember that he seems to be very ready. I have a “Not Jean” appointment on Monday. Thank goodness. I have not seen her in 2 weeks so she has her work cut out for her.
Well, the weekend is here again. Nothing much planned but I really need to get my creative groove moving to keep the overactive brain busy and out of the ditch. Now I have an uncluttered desk I am hoping that the creative juices will flow….who am I kidding. I think I might just take myself to Michaels tomorrow to order a matte for the artwork. I might just go to the Restorative yoga on Sunday. The only thing is that it is so darn early and that instructor is my least favorite. I think that soon I want to maybe try the exercise machines. They are always generously populated by old farts. That is the only issue for me. I am so paranoid about the germs on those machines. I am terrified of MRSA.
I hope that you all have a wonderfully peaceful weekend.
I forgot to post this one of us three girls with the old goat….oops I mean Mama. Well, more like three old ladies with their older lady mother…whatever…I am waffling….must be the meds. Today I had my broken tooth repaired and found out that both of the teeth at the back need a root canal or they need to be removed. My initial knee-jerk response was that I wanted them out. But then after thinking about it would have required work anyway and then eventually more work to put in the implants so tomorrow I have an appointment at an endodontist to have the root canal done. I will repeat my medication regimen from today of one Ativan when I leave home and one when I get there. I see that this guy offers laughing gas so I say bring it on. My approach to avoiding drugs or treatments that make me feel out of control are becoming more appealing. A glass of wine and an Ativan was wonderful on Christmas Eve and Christmas night. No chance of getting addicted but it is about time I cut loose a little. Always so buttoned down and restrained by my own rules and regulations. God knows the food rules and regulations are exhausting by themselves. Post note. A root canal is done. It turned out too bad. I was not aware that you can do a root canal by drilling a small hole right down the middle of the temporary. For some reason that made it easier to cope with. It was also great to find out that only one tooth needed work…and no laughing gas BTW. Now, most of my teeth repairs are done.
I guess this is the season to get all of the medical crap out of the way. I have a stress test echocardiogram coming up and the Hematology department emailed me to say I need iron infusions again. Let us hope they do not make me put on another 10 lb. I am not a happy camper ending this year 10 lb heavier. Then onto a healthier new slimmer year…hopefully.
I so wish that NYU would hurry up and start communicating details such dorm and roommate allocation. I have been watching the weather, and it is hairy. In the next 10 days, there is a distinct downward trend…..yikes…a couple of days in the 20s. We just do not have appropriate clothing. Max and I had to get a jacket and boots. I am such a woos. I am so scared of falling on an icy sidewalk and cracking my head..weird I know.
The boy finished up work in 12 days time. He has a nice tidy sum of cash to take with him but he has worked hard for that money and pretty much done it with a smile. I am not sure if I would come home singing and in a good mood after getting up at 4.30am to wash dishes and bus tables for 8 hours. No thanks.
No creativity has been forthcoming in this neck of the woods for the past two weeks. I have been on a couple of walks again..wonderful for sure. The restorative yoga is wonderful and I hope to make the swimming exercise a more regular occurrence in the new year…walking still does it for me. I just cannot tear around the lagoon to beat my mile records as I do not want to wreck my hip again.
Well, Happy New Year. I hope that 2019 is a good year for you.
Yesterday I did something for the first time in many years. I went for a swim. It was exhilarating. For many years I was the size of two houses and I did not know what to do with my hair or should I say lack of hair. I could never have a proper underwater swim because I wear a wig. It must have something to do with getting older because yesterday I decided to put on my bathing cap with a floppy hat over it and I went down to our pool. I left my wig at home. I took off the floppy hat and put on my goggles and I swam 20 laps. Under the water. It felt so great. We lived in the pool when we were growing up in South Africa and it felt so good to swim properly. So I am still fat(not as fat as two houses anymore) an old. Who the heck cares. There was only one woman there with a little boy so I had the pool to myself. I was keen to do it today but as usual, it was too cold here in the Shores. I also have cut out 5 newborn dresses and I am dying to sew them so I might do that tomorrow. Today I had an appointment with my nutritionist. She is always so helpful, knowledgeable and kind. I resisted for so long to see her but she has helped me soo much. I have a lot of things I need to work on but my attitude to food is better and my obsessions around food have improved so much.
This afternoon I went with the kiddo to go and open his first checking account. He got to deposit his first two paychecks. He is working part-time at a coffee shop. He needs to keep busy until he starts school and it also keeps his mind off the fact that he is no longer with his girlfriend.
I have not done any designs in the past few days. I really need to be working on fall colors but I am in a design funk right now. I will be in the mood again soon.
I cannot believe I am back in school next week. I am only doing two classes with the same instructor with the classes one after the other separated by a lunch break. That means I am at school from 11am to 4pm. Yikes. This guy can be so boring and for the most part, I use youtube to fill in the bits and pieces. The only good thing is that he does not care if you come to class as long as you do all of the work. That was very helpful for that hateful animation class. I ended up going to every second class and still walked away with a B+. The only annoying thing is that the parking is a nightmare at that time.
Oh well, that is all I have to share today. Happy Humpday tomorrow.
Today we ventured into another new era. The boy finally got a job. Thank goodness that expensive prep school education paid off. He got a job as a floater in a coffee shop..LOL…I am just kidding. It is just a job to keep him busy until he heads off to college in February. I am dying for him to come home so that I can find out exactly what they made him do. He is out with his friends for now. I am once again incredibly sad today. I just want to cry again. The emotions are overwhelming sometimes. I wish I could break out of this funk.
I received a new batch of scarves today. I am so proud of this latest batch. The designs are getting more creative and better as time goes by. I have some new ideas that I am dying to try out. I am all ready for the 4th of July tomorrow. As tradition has it my sister and her family come over for dinner and then we head off to the top of the Oracle Headquarters Parking lot to watch the fireworks in nearby Foster City. We have taken the kids up there for over 10 years and it has become a little bit of a tradition. It is great. The fireworks are nice and completely viewable and there is NO Traffic on the way home. Sadly this is probably the last year because two of them will be in college and my guy will be doing a summer semester because his intake is February and he still graduates with his class of 2022. I am so weird. I have no interest in food so it is a chore to actually think of a menu for tomorrow. I have kept it super simple this year. Food just causes me too much grief. I’d rather not think about it.
Nanny is still in Texas having a blast by the sounds of it. Tannie(my mom’s sister and my favorite aunty) is teaching Nana to make the most beautiful aprons. I think Nana has got to add them to my stalls.
Apart from that, I do not have much else to share. I am busy charging my phone so I can head out in 20 minutes for a walk. Trying to walk the anxiety away….good luck with that buttercup.
To all my fellow Americans. Keep it civil. Be kind and Happy 4th of July. Stop the violence. God Bless the USA. As an immigrant, I am grateful for every day I get to live here.
This is it. This weekend we think Max has to decide on which college he will be accepting. Very nervewracking. I do not think he knows what to do. I think he will be very happy at either Tufts or BU but I think he still is holding out for that NYU waitlist. He is, however, taking forever to complete the forms.
If I do go and visit my family it is normally on a Friday. I went down this morning and my mom, sister and myself went to this little place called The Empanada King. They have the most fantastic coffee. It is so well made and delicious. It was good for a laugh and a chat about everything and nothing. The coffee mornings with my sister Jo and my mom and dad are very special. The drive is long but it is nice to spend time with them. We went back to Jo’s house and laughed and commiserated over the kids graduating from high school. Making arrangements. I listed some of the girls’old prom dresses on Poshmark.com for sale.Listed a pair of Birks for Nana. So my task this weekend it sort through the list and find someone.arghhhhhhh. Onto more exciting things. We got to order a lei from Hawaii for the boy’s graduation. Now if he could just commit to a college already. His girlfriend asked him to prom today…So cute. I also picked up my scarf samples from my mom. I sold six scarves to friends of a friend of my mom…complicated huh! I made $210….well less my costs. It is not about the money but about the first steps to getting this business going. I am thinking of heading up to the college of San Mateo to check out the Saturday Market. I also need to check the Belmont Farmer’s market. Next week the promise I made to go to the San Carlos boutiques has to happen. Happy Weekend. I will be spending time finishing off my Honors essay on the Chilean poet Pablo Neruda and starting my project for animation. It has to be a take on the Bambi vs Godzilla cartoon. Cartooning is not my thing but a needed class. Gearing up for a summer of anthropology and math…Lord help me. Happy Weekend everyone. I will post new designs if I feel inspired to create. Still trying to figure out how to sell scarves on this site. Keep watching.
I did it. I actually have had the MRI on my right hip. I am such a ditz because I made sure I took out my rings, earrings and I even wore a wire-free bra…However, I arrive and my sister points out that my shirt has metal studs. We had to go into the changing room and switch shirts. I hit up the Ativan and I splurged on two. I actually dozed off during the MRI. I will hear the results on Friday. I just want to get to the bottom of it so that I can get exercising again. I have gone hog wild today with food. I am sitting close to 2000 calories. This may not seem that extraordinary but for my fat ass, it just does not work. I am feeling pretty bummed about my lack of weight loss and I start calculating just how much I can starve to get it right.
We had a super time celebrating with our girl today. She is such a character. Love her to bits. Max took a separate car because he has volunteered to work on a film for a kid in the film club. I cannot believe he does them a favor and they tell him to bring his own dinner. I cannot believe the cheek of it. Unbelievable. I cannot believe that Jordy actually took apart the money cake to add the money to her birthday cash. That girl cracks me up.
Moving onto the next celebration. Easter next week at our house then it will be the birthdays of the other two girlies and my baby sister as well as Mother’s day…all in a span of two weeks. Then a month and it is graduation. Yikes.
I am in a design doldrums for the past few days. I have created nothing. I need to get going on something..anything. This cannot go on. So watch this space. Hopefully, I will have something to share soon.
My precious niece Jordy is turning 18 this weekend. She is six weeks younger than our guy. I decided to get my Pinterest juices going and make her a money cake for her special day. This is what I came up with for this project. I never know where these things will end up but here it is. With a trip to Michaels and a little imagination, you can also do this project. I needed $70 in $1 bills. I bought flower oasis sponge and then scrounged around my craft closet for most of the other items. I needed to get my craft Yaya out and I had a blast creating this. I have not made any patterns for two days and I need to get started on something new. Next week I have spring break. I have a paper to complete for my English Honors class and I have an animation project due for my animation class. I want to enter a few fabric contests and I have an idea for a shoe design for a pattern. Watch this space for links to my new designs. Tomorrow I am making a third attempt at an MRI on my hip. Gosh, I sure hope that I can actually do it tomorrow. My hip is in trouble and I really need to find out what is going on with it so I can once again start exercising. We started talking about a summer trip. We were talking about London again. Next year we plan on going to see the Northern Lights in Iceland. If we do plan on going to London late this summer I want to be fit and ready to walk. I cannot bear the thought of being unfit in London like I was last time. I have an expired passport so I am not going anywhere until I sort that out.