Yesterday was the day to have a small get together with the family before the boy heads off to school. We moved it to where the people are because my niece had dance practice and this way we would still see her and my sister. Also, it was easier for the old folks to spend more time with us before heading home. It was a lovely time. We just gathered up the goods and headed to Campbell. I am normally much fussier about the food etc but yesterday I kept it completely simple. Pizza, chip, cheese n crackers, and cake. Lately, I just cannot figure out…or should I say want not want to deal with food prep. I guess it must be the food avoidance that makes it harder for me to plan a menu etc. If it was up to me all food would be a smoothie. His cousin was home from her college…but then she loves coming home almost every weekend because she is an hour away. He got to spend time with his cousins and then he went off to say goodbye to his ex-girlfriend. They broke up because of geographical constraints this coming year. She is such a lovely girl and I know they were happy to see each other one last time before he leaves. Here are some pictures from the party.
It feels like he is gone already because he spends more time out of the house than ever. Between work and friends, we are already missing him dearly. Today he has been in the city(San Francisco) with his best friend.
I am starting to watch the weather closely and Manhattan heated up to a balmy 30deg F today. Lord help me. I am not used to that at all.
I had a meeting with the nutritionist on Friday. My issues go in cycles and I am stress eating at the moment with binges. I was not in the mood to go and deal with it on Friday and I came very close to canceling because sometimes the old Sharon comes out and she has food as her boss. I am glad that I went. I hate preparing food, to begin with, but I HATE making food for myself so I will sometimes not bother at all. So I am going to try and concentrate on having at least one smoothie or superfood drink daily to get the vitamins etc that I need. I looked at the picture of me above with the guys and I look like a pale washed out dishrag. Bring on the iron infusions. I am still waiting for that appointment so I am sure I will only get there when we get back from our trip.
I am feeling weirdly numb about the upcoming trip. I know that I am as I like to say….Inside my own head. This is when I really need to watch the food intake. It is easy to just push feeling sad away with your hand reaching for some food. Tomorrow is my weekly visit with Not Jean and this will be my last visit before I leave. Next week I am on my own with the worries inside my head….should be like a crazy carnival ride. Maybe the balmy weather will freeze them….LOL
Tomorrow my classes start at school. I am doing the math online…did I already mention that….and I have now done all the homework and quizzes that precede the first test which is due on Feb18th. I love jumping ahead.
The rest of the week we will be starting to take stock of what he has and what he still needs to buy when we get into NYC.
Oh well…Happy Sunday and I hope that you have a great week.
The photo above was taken when I noticed this random tree trunk base as I was walking down the street today so I thought I would share. Today I decided to once again try a mindfulness women’s circle at the local Buddist prayer center. It was, to say the least….mmmm interesting. I am really not sure if this is for me. It involved meditation and then a circle introduction and activity about the circle of life and using medicine wheel. Here is a link to the information on a Medicine wheel. Very interesting.
We got to choose a card that spoke to us….mmm I wonder why this grabbed my eye So at any rate we were given a wheel to write on as we saw fit. I wrote my thoughts in the middle and then I struck on coming home that I should write the poem I wrote about Motherhood on the circle. So this afternoon I set aside time to go ahead and transfer the poem and then I decorated the outer limits into a mandala pattern as my own mindfulness exercise. Here is the end result.
I am trying to make an effort to get out of the house but I am a little unsure about this group being the right thing for me. I think I prefer the Restorative yoga.
My college classes are supposed to start on Monday but the Math teacher made the material available to us already. This class is really stressing me out and so I decided to get started this afternoon. I got into the groove and finished all of the homework exercises that are due up until Feb 8th. So far so good but we will see how long that lasts.
The boy was at work most of the day. It was supposed to be his last day but he is squeezing in one last shift on Monday. He then went out for dinner with one of his high school friends. Forget spending time with your parents the week before you leave. There is no time for that.
Well, here we go. Time is moving fast and furious. Tomorrow I have an appointment with the nutritionist and then I need to go and pick up a cake for the farewell party on Saturday. I heard that Sprinkles now makes full-size cakes so I hope that they are pretty good.
Yesterday I did something for the first time in many years. I went for a swim. It was exhilarating. For many years I was the size of two houses and I did not know what to do with my hair or should I say lack of hair. I could never have a proper underwater swim because I wear a wig. It must have something to do with getting older because yesterday I decided to put on my bathing cap with a floppy hat over it and I went down to our pool. I left my wig at home. I took off the floppy hat and put on my goggles and I swam 20 laps. Under the water. It felt so great. We lived in the pool when we were growing up in South Africa and it felt so good to swim properly. So I am still fat(not as fat as two houses anymore) an old. Who the heck cares. There was only one woman there with a little boy so I had the pool to myself. I was keen to do it today but as usual, it was too cold here in the Shores. I also have cut out 5 newborn dresses and I am dying to sew them so I might do that tomorrow. Today I had an appointment with my nutritionist. She is always so helpful, knowledgeable and kind. I resisted for so long to see her but she has helped me soo much. I have a lot of things I need to work on but my attitude to food is better and my obsessions around food have improved so much.
This afternoon I went with the kiddo to go and open his first checking account. He got to deposit his first two paychecks. He is working part-time at a coffee shop. He needs to keep busy until he starts school and it also keeps his mind off the fact that he is no longer with his girlfriend.
I have not done any designs in the past few days. I really need to be working on fall colors but I am in a design funk right now. I will be in the mood again soon.
I cannot believe I am back in school next week. I am only doing two classes with the same instructor with the classes one after the other separated by a lunch break. That means I am at school from 11am to 4pm. Yikes. This guy can be so boring and for the most part, I use youtube to fill in the bits and pieces. The only good thing is that he does not care if you come to class as long as you do all of the work. That was very helpful for that hateful animation class. I ended up going to every second class and still walked away with a B+. The only annoying thing is that the parking is a nightmare at that time.
Oh well, that is all I have to share today. Happy Humpday tomorrow.
I am busy trying to rework my scarf display for the farmers market on Saturday. It is a work in progress. Set up in my dining room working it again and again until it looks like I want it to look. I want it to be eye catching so that they see the colors and designs. I find that they do not understand it until they see that the designs are unique. My anxiety is not ideal for this exercise. I will just keep reworking it until it looks good. I am hoping that the new scarves will be here this week. I will post the work in progress as it goes along and some photos of the new scarves when they arrive. I am in the mood to sew for some reason. Not sure why but what the heck..I might just do that tomorrow.
I had a nice chat to my mom this afternoon on face time in Texas. I got to say hi to my cousins and favorite aunt as well. Tomorrow it is once again time for not Jean. I have a lot to talk about. Also tomorrow night is Yin Gentle Yoga. I am looking forward to it.
I have been making smoothies in the morning as per the nutritionist suggestion to get my nutrients boosted for the day. . I have been using the pea greens and they make the drink taste good. Tomorrow I am going to add some shredded carrots. I have lost almost 2 lb thank goodness. I need that I was not that disciplined today but you know…
I am just being creative with whatever I have on a particular day. I bought some coconut water and beet juice today to use as the liquid base. I am working really hard at trying to put the food issues behind me….time will tell…until I get angry and starve again.
I did it. I actually have had the MRI on my right hip. I am such a ditz because I made sure I took out my rings, earrings and I even wore a wire-free bra…However, I arrive and my sister points out that my shirt has metal studs. We had to go into the changing room and switch shirts. I hit up the Ativan and I splurged on two. I actually dozed off during the MRI. I will hear the results on Friday. I just want to get to the bottom of it so that I can get exercising again. I have gone hog wild today with food. I am sitting close to 2000 calories. This may not seem that extraordinary but for my fat ass, it just does not work. I am feeling pretty bummed about my lack of weight loss and I start calculating just how much I can starve to get it right.
We had a super time celebrating with our girl today. She is such a character. Love her to bits. Max took a separate car because he has volunteered to work on a film for a kid in the film club. I cannot believe he does them a favor and they tell him to bring his own dinner. I cannot believe the cheek of it. Unbelievable. I cannot believe that Jordy actually took apart the money cake to add the money to her birthday cash. That girl cracks me up.
Moving onto the next celebration. Easter next week at our house then it will be the birthdays of the other two girlies and my baby sister as well as Mother’s day…all in a span of two weeks. Then a month and it is graduation. Yikes.
I am in a design doldrums for the past few days. I have created nothing. I need to get going on something..anything. This cannot go on. So watch this space. Hopefully, I will have something to share soon.
My precious niece Jordy is turning 18 this weekend. She is six weeks younger than our guy. I decided to get my Pinterest juices going and make her a money cake for her special day. This is what I came up with for this project. I never know where these things will end up but here it is. With a trip to Michaels and a little imagination, you can also do this project. I needed $70 in $1 bills. I bought flower oasis sponge and then scrounged around my craft closet for most of the other items. I needed to get my craft Yaya out and I had a blast creating this. I have not made any patterns for two days and I need to get started on something new. Next week I have spring break. I have a paper to complete for my English Honors class and I have an animation project due for my animation class. I want to enter a few fabric contests and I have an idea for a shoe design for a pattern. Watch this space for links to my new designs. Tomorrow I am making a third attempt at an MRI on my hip. Gosh, I sure hope that I can actually do it tomorrow. My hip is in trouble and I really need to find out what is going on with it so I can once again start exercising. We started talking about a summer trip. We were talking about London again. Next year we plan on going to see the Northern Lights in Iceland. If we do plan on going to London late this summer I want to be fit and ready to walk. I cannot bear the thought of being unfit in London like I was last time. I have an expired passport so I am not going anywhere until I sort that out.
I have decided to close my Shopify account for now. Like this blog, the traffic is zero. I am busy with class at the moment so I cannot afford the time to work on marketing. I think I am going to just go ahead and keep loading items into my store there. I will just keep plodding with designs and cultivate my designs. I figure if I keep working on them I will improve. I think I will also keep them up on Spoonflower. I really have a love of fabric design for some reason. I think it is the repetition and symmetry. The OCD comes out I guess.
My anxiety has been out of control again. I cannot get a handle on it. Drives me crazy. That feeling that someone is grabbing you by the throat is never fun. I just keep on slogging away at trying to calm myself down. I am enjoying my classes. Just a month more and I will have my 6 credits. It is taking a lot of commitment to make sure that I keep on top of it.
My boy is so adorable. He is taking his girlfriend on a picnic tomorrow. They have not seen each other in almost 20 days due to both of them being on separate trips. I told him to buy her some flowers when he picks up the sodas and dessert. Oh to be young and in love…well at least I am still in love.
This should be an interesting week. I hope you have a blessed and peaceful week and enjoy the summer weather if you are reading this from the Northern Hemisphere.
This posting is long overdue. I have been so busy with my two new summer classes that I cannot think straight. The work is taking up a lot of my time. I am doing the Biology of Nutrition and Psychology. Wow! My brain is so slow. It seems like the coursework just sails right through my head. I hope that I am at least retaining some knowledge. We had a lovely trip to Boston for my husband’s MIT reunion. The highlight for me was the Boston Pops. We hitched a ride on a bus where we were the youngest couple by at least 20 years. The music was spectacular. It was so great for Will to enjoy this reunion. I felt like I was less high maintenance. Things are just seeming easier these days. My therapist gave me this article about the Bozos on the bus. It is about feeling like a freak but you soo realize that everyone feels the same. Keeping that in mind really helped. I found that it was so much easier to socialize this time….now I will admit there was maybe some Lorazapam involved. We also took a train to Boston College. It was a beautiful campus. I really loved Boston. It is a lovely town. I have a thing for russian nesting dolls. I found this adorable set of 10. This is the largest one. We have this tradition…all be it a wacky tradition that the guys always pose with a cushion on their heads in the hotel we are staying in. The boy was in Spain on a school choir trip so his dad did it for him. My husband got to spend time with his college roommate. They decided to recreate a picture that they took in college. Here is the result.
The boy had a super trip to Spain.I love that he was exposed to the beauty and culture of Europe…before it is destroyed.
I am settling into my class routine. I have to keep slogging until Jul 20th. If I can just last until then I will have 6 more credits towards my degree.
The boy should be landing in Spain as I am typing this blog. He is off with his school choir singing in the Cathedrals in Spain. It is very exciting. They will even be singing in a Benedictine Monastery/School in Spain. He text me from Germany this morning. He has not slept of course but that is how you roll when you are young and hanging with your friends. I cannot wait to hear the stories. We are off to Boston today to celebrate my husband’s 30th College reunion. How did we get to a 30 year reunion that quickly? We are too young for that. That is just not possible.
We are using UBER to get to the airport. I actually cannot believe we are using them. I hate the SOBs. The drivers are always lost, dazed and confused. They cause havoc on the roads in our area. They think that because they have that backwards C on their car they can just stop anywhere…..and I mean anywhere.
I hate flying so I will be partaking in a Lorazapam to calm my nerves.
I just got a text from Boy that he had landed in Spain and he is on a bus. So glad that he did well on the plane. He is like his mother for sure.
Well wish me luck. Hopefully I will blog from Boston. I know not many people read this but I find it therapeutic. My therapist gave me this article to take with me. It is about everyone being a bozo on the bus. In other words you may feel insecure and like a freak but when you go into a social situation chances are that everyone or at least most of the people in the room could be feeling the same way. I am going to make this my mantra this weekend. I am a little intimidated because this is an MIT reunion but I will imagine everyone being a Bozo.