One line and I am fried

kokeshi
My small and growing Kokeshi doll collection.

So this is not going to be very long. It is 2:30am and I cannot eat. For the past few weeks, I have been reigning in the anxiety monster. The trip was one of the best weeks I have had in a long time with the exception of that last flight. That terrified all-consuming angst has been under control but tonight a few little words unleashed that demonic shitatic angst all over again. I cannot sleep as a result. I am one lorazepam and 3 CBD gummies in and I am still awake. The few little words from the boy were “I’m sick but I’m taking medicine and such” and now it is the middle of the night and I cannot find out what is wrong until the morning. I am freaked out. So ridiculous. I am panicking until I actually get a text from him in the morning. Once I know what is wrong I think I will be able to calm down. Of course, my mind runs away with itself. I worry that he will not know when he needs to go and get checked out. The demons are chasing each other around in my head. I think that I am a freak. I am sure other mothers are saner when this type of issue crops up.

That is all I really have to share. I went to the South Bay this morning and had coffee and dessert with my sister, niece, and parents. It was a nice calm day. I took Nana and my niece to the Goodwill store to show them how to have a little fun.  I bought a set of Pepsi 12 days of Christmas glasses by Anchor Hocking. I ended up paying 75c each. I just listed each one on eBay for $9.99…that is how I keep my brain busy so it does not run away too often. The rest of the time we just hung out at my sister’s house.
Oh well, maybe the last gummy is kicking in. I think my eyes are drooping. Let us hope I get some sleep until I hear from the boy.

Happy Weekend.

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