So as Lanibeth says…today is day 3. I woke up a little earlier today thinking that maybe I was feeling a little better but as the day dragged on I was getting more and more anxious. I tried to keep busy. I had left over mashed potato and I added salmon, egg and cheese. I made the guys salmon cakes,Red Lobster biscuits and salad for lunch. These beggers are going to get used to the catering. It kept my mind occupied for about an hour. After lunch I could feel the angst getting worse by the minute. I am trying so hard to limit the ativan use but I am struggling.I get so scared and worried I just want to cry. The boy tried his luck and asked if his ex girlfriend…or whatever she may be to him could come over because he cannot leave…Hell NO! So that just triggered me even more. He was very accepting and polite about it and so I guess I just have to roll with it. I put on my mask and gloves and headed out to the lagoon for a walk.
I went to the other side of the lagoon and avoided the benches and sat on the wall overlooking the lagoon to call my mother. It is a good spot because it is about 10 ft from the walkway and so people walking past were not too close. I saw four teens who seemed to have missed the memo about social distancing. I found it amusing to note that everyone now says hello to each other and I have a tip….wear a mask and gloves and people make a wide berth around you.
I came home and chilled out until I had to make them dinner. I am still counting all of my calories. You would think I would chill the heck out about it but it is a compulsion. I just feel safer if I keep tabs and check on myself. Still trying to stick to under 1200 calories because any more and I start putting on weight. I am not obsessing to badly at the moment. I just obsess about giving them healthy food.
I have been working on a zentangle page that I am busy with right now. I will post it once I am done. I did create the mini poster below with a quote Lovie found online and I printed it on one of my lagoon photographs.
Stay safe. Peace and love . Look for daily pictures from Lanibeth.