Day 4…Shut it all down.

The fourth day has come and gone. I got up earlier than usual today for some reason but I got dressed a little later. I spent the morning once again spinning my wheels trying to figure out what I want to do…nothing works and nothing happens however hard I try. I do not know about you but I am really struggling to wrap my brain around the enormous economic fallout of this disaster and how it all falls back into place when they get this under control. So many people are going to suffer large financial losses. A lot of dreams broken. I really hope that there is some validity to the effectiveness of the malaria drug. I am not meaning to diminish the human suffering but just commenting that the economic fallout adds another layer to the nightmare. I am so sad for the way people are dying without their families around them. I find it so heartbreaking. It is almost as if the virus is throwing a final insult at them by robbing them of dignity in death. I get so sad at the thought.

I made the guys lunch and then I went for a walk around the lagoon again today. I went and sat at the water all alone and called my parents again. I get so concerned about them and we cannot even visit them. So frustrating. I managed to stave off the fear until around dinner time and then I had to take some medication to help me calm down. We settled down to a nice quiet night and then the kiddo started having an asthma attack and followed by a panic attack. He is I think a little worried about having just come from NYC and he will randomly get asthma dues to seasonal weather changes. When he was a little boy he had the worst eye allergies. It was very hard to get him to stop panicking and to calm down. He really struggled and now he is left with the residue of a bad attack. I know tomorrow he will still be recovering. I am so sad and heartbroken for him. His dream to go to school in NYC disrupted again. Last year he was so sick with pneumonia and now this. My only relief is that the three of us are together. I know there is nothing magical about that but we are together.

When we are all at home nothing exciting is going to happen so this is going to be short.Stay safe, be kind and love one another.

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