Well, four weeks have come and gone so fast and tomorrow we have to say goodbye again. I really hate this, Talk about a Summer romance. Oh to be young and in love. Those two lovebirds made good use of the four weeks. I am so sad that we have to say goodbye again. No closer to feeling better about the separation. I have been having severe anxiety again and panicking about him staying healthy. Tonight his ear is infected again. Why in God’s name he had to have his ears pierced and now he is heading off to a filthy city. My nerves. I am feeling so down again…or should I say down as usual. It is becoming a pattern again. So ridiculous but the whole doing things and feeling better is just doing nothing much right now. I feel like I am spinning wheels, double dosing on the Ativan and adding an occasional CBD gummy bears with not much relief. I cannot say it takes the anxiety away but it numbs the beast for a few hours. Not sure when it will ever go away. Having had the Ativan untouched for weeks and now for 4 days, I have been using 2 a day because of the awful feeling in my gut. It is frustrating to slide backward again. This week had slipped away and there has not been any relief. I so wish he was not going back tomorrow. I am so so sad. I am not sure if I was supposed to have not Jean on Monday. I was second-guessing my memory. I could really do with some time but I actually have a Hematology checkup at the usual therapy time. I also worry that the insurance will give her a hard time. Finally going to a back doctor this week. I want to attempt getting back to yoga again so it will be good to sort that out. So many darn medical appointments for a pseudo healthy person. Oh well, it will be an interesting week. I am dreading that airport drop off tomorrow. Not sure when I will write again. Enjoy the rest of the weekend.