A mother’s love

IMG_0193I am preparing to be parted from my boy for the first time in a long time. This will be the furthest he has been away from us. A different continent. We will be halving the distance because we are going to a US city that is five hours closer to his destination. It is not on purpose. A school reunion came at the right time. I am sure he will have the time of his life. His school choir will be performing in various cities. These are the things that make me happy. I love that we can give him opportunities to enjoy these type of experiences. The little bugger better enjoy himself because he is getting a summer job when he gets back. My semester is done and I got my results for my first final. My final digital painting assignment garnered 100% and my final grade was 95%. I am thrilled. I am now part of the honor society and at the age of 50 I am receiving college brochures in the mail. It is amusing because the kiddo has been getting them for months and now they are arriving for me. Do they know I am a middle aged woman?

This week has been the week to get all the bits and pieces together for our trips. However organized that  you think you might be there are always things to buy and errands to run. I decided that good old Amazon was the easiest to fill in the bits and pieces. If I had gone to Target to pick up these items I would have spent way more than just ordering the items needed. We all know those “small” Target runs can add up quickly. The kiddo’s ATM card was insisting that the pin on his card was incorrect. He needs it for his trip so I am relieved that I got it sorted out today. Now I just need to have my nails done and maybe a chin wax and I am good to go. I have so many great clothing items that I have not worn yet so I am set with clothes for our trip. My 120lb weight loss has resulted in a whole new wardrobe. I have discovered the joy of the bargain branded clothing at good oll TJ Maxx. I love that place. Everything in my closet is Ralph Lauren, Michael Kors, Cynthia Rowley, Coach etc. I am so excited to be able to buy clothing anywhere now but I still find it intimidating to go to Neiman Marcus or Nordstrom as my confidence is still not there. I am still the fatter girl inside. I am also trying to lose at least another 50 lb so it is great not paying too much for something that might not fit next season….hopefully. I have dropped for a size 28 pants to a 16/18 and shirts that were 3x/4x or 28-30 and 30-32 are now just XL.

Yesterday I saw my therapist. It was a light hour for a change but I am so grateful to have her common sense ideas guiding me. It is so helpful. I seem to miss the obvious and she has clarified so many things that I never noticed about my behaviors and how I do myself a disservice. I feel like it has taken a long time but I am finally understanding why I operate the way I do . I am figuring out how making small changes in my behaviour and my outlook on life is making a world of difference to my coping with everyday in a much more positive way.  Do not be afraid to ask for help. It can make a world of difference. cherryb3

(Inspirational posters featuring my art is available on my shopify store. https://tealfeatherstudios.myshopify.com/admin)

 

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